Current research findings indicate that stress in the performing arts is reaching almost epidemic proportions with uncompromising perfectionism as its most insidious cause. As a music therapist who works primarily with stressed and injured musicians, I offer my view that “polarized” perfectionism – which can be interpreted as a deep-rooted belief that you are either the best or worthless – is a force to be reckoned with in the musical community. And while depth-oriented music therapy can be an effective treatment for polarized perfectionism in musicians, you can also change overly perfectionist attitudes and habits by practicing the following simple, playful exercises:
• Waste time: This is probably one of the most difficult things for a perfectionist to do. Book stores, record stores, playgrounds, and beautiful places in nature are just a few venues where you can let yourself unwind and enter the realm of the imagination.
• Meditate: Spend about 10-20 minutes each day focusing inward. Allow yourself to be completely alone and undisturbed, sitting comfortably with your spine straight as you focus on the rhythm of your breath. If a thought comes up, just observe it, let it go, and return your focus to your breathing. In a short while, your body-mind will start to relax and a warm glow will emanate from the center of your being. Meditation helps you to shut out the external world and connect deeply with the source of your being – your essential self.
• Improvise: Yes, you can improvise! In all of my years working with classical musicians, I have never found one who was unable to improvise. If you feel uncomfortable improvising with your primary instrument, choose one that you enjoy “playing.” Just pick up the instrument, center yourself, breathe deeply, and connect with the “energy garden” in your belly. Listen for your first note. Sound that note and then wait for the next one. Play the next note and continue to listen for the succeeding notes. Then just let go and let the music take you where you need to go. Improvisation also helps you access your creative source and strengthens the body-mind connection.
• Improvise with others: Get together with a group of your most creative musician friends and jam. You don’t have to set a theme for the improvisation. Just take a few seconds to ground and center yourself, and then begin to play. Be aware of your own contribution and that of your friends, letting the music take the group where it needs to go. Enjoy!
• Get to know your inner critic: The inner critic is the “wind beneath the wings” of the polarizeperfectionist, but it is often a foul wind. If you truly listen to the inner dialog in your head around difficult performance issues, you can begin to discriminate the difference between destructive and helpful criticism. The latter sounds like: “You need to take more time to ground and center yourself before playing the first note of the Italian Concerto at your upcoming recital,” and comes from the self. But criticism like, “You aren’t good enough to play the Italian Concerto. Who do you think you are?” comes from the voices of negative teachers and/or family members that were usually internalized at a young age and became part of your self-concept. You can change this negative self-talk by examining the validity of the statements. If the self-talk truly serves you in some way, then you can continue to allow it to inform you. If you sense that it is untrue, cruel, or exaggerated, let it go and replace it with an affirmation such as, “I am well-prepared and joyfully give my very best in my upcoming performance of the Italian Concerto.” As you let go of the negativity of the inner critic, perfectionism can return to its normal function and playing music will once again become an awesome adventure.
• Nurture yourself: Take some time each day to acknowledge your innate perfection and take good care of yourself – treat yourself to healthy food, good music, relaxing baths and massages, and quality time with yourself and loved ones.
I encourage all of you to explore one or more of the above techniques for de-polarizing perfectionism and achieving harmony and balance in your lives. But even with devoted practice, it might take a while to unravel the paradox of the creative void. If you let go of the compulsive need to be perfect, you will awaken your essential self and learn to celebrate every moment of your life!
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Dr. Louise Montello, LP, LCAT, MT-BC, is a board-certified music therapist/psychoanalyst, research scientist, and internationally known authority on the treatment and prevention of stress in performing artists. She is the director of Performance Wellness, Inc. and award-winning author of Essential Musical Intelligence: Using Music as Your Path to Healing, Creativity, and Radiant Wholeness (Quest 2002), which explores music and sound as self-reflecting tools for instantly transforming limiting thoughts/behaviors. Based in New York, she is also a jazz pianist and composer.
Dr. Montello will be offering a Performance Wellness Workshop from 10am – 5pm on June 26-27 at the Ayni Gallery, 216 State Street, Santa Barbara. See www.PerformanceWellness.org, contact louise@performancewellness.org, or call (212) 529-9737 for information and registration. To schedule a private appointment with Dr. Montello on June 25, please contact workshop organizer Christine M. Grimm at 805-698-3580.
